Why, yes; in a jar, on my nightstand.
There are few things that scare me more than the idea of reality deterioriating. Whether it’s due to existence unraveling, or my brain just getting damaged enough where I’m conscious but I don’t understand anything, it’s my least-favorite thing. That being said, over the years, people have presented me with various hoaxes. I thought this was one.
I don’t think it is anymore.
You see an image like this, you start looking for pixels. Is this real? Is this Photoshopped? You’d think it would be Photoshopped.
I don’t think it’s Photoshopped.
Part of the interesting thing about photography is that, based on certain factors, you can figure out where a place is. Popularly you can see 4chan people did this with Shia LeBeouf’s Capture the Flag game or whatever the fuck it was. See, I’m not exactly that talented. Or, at least, I’m not willing to try to identify trees and shit, to figure out where this is.
But I think I can find it.
The question becomes, is it legal to pinpoint where this thing is? It’s in public, right? I mean. Clearly, they want people to see it. As far as I can tell, it’s across from some strip mall of businesses, one that starts with D & D. You’d think that would be easy to find. Not just from that information, though.
Eventually the question becomes, is that even the same sign? Did you notice that the wording has changed? Well, it’s fairly simple: on one side of the sign, it reads: NOW HIRING UP TO $15 DO YOU HAVE A SERVANTS HEART. You can use the light pole / telephone pole for reference. We see this when it’s on the left of the sign. So, on the other side of the sign, it reads, DO YOU HAVE A SERVANTS HEART? APPLY WITHIN.
But then, that’s wrong.
So it’s either two signs, or they fucking changed the sign. Which is bizarre; since I don’t think anybody would be this goofy twice.
The sign, for me, bothers me. It’s the sort of thing I’d see in a dream about to turn into a nightmare. Its language is distinctly bizarre; it seems to harken to Biblical language. And when you harken back to Biblical language, you’re almost necessarily harkening back to Biblical times.
Where is this thing? Are there two of these fuckin’ signs? Sometimes there’s a pole; sometimes there’s a traffic signal. Is it just the angle? No identifying information is ever shown in these pictures. It’s like a goddamned SCP.
“DO YOU HAVE A SERVANTS HEART” rings out into the demon-black night like Do you read Sutter Cane? It bothers me.
Picture after picture. Sometimes the poles are there; sometimes, it’s trees. Three signs? There’s no way.
Except, look again.
There are at least two signs. One sign has room for four rows of characters. The other? Three. And the logos don’t even match.
The poles return. A look, down the street: ah! A Sonic is down the road. That will help in locating it.
Finally.
Though the poles may change places, or be not present at all, we finally have some markers. It is on an intersection– perhaps– and, there are signs.
That’s not even in the fuckin’ US, is it? Sounds like names I’d expect to find in a Tolkien book.
Varkys Cleaners.
The interesting part of all of this, is, it goes back to my training, trying to identify the authorship of documents. People, even me, all use highly-specific language. It’s almost like a signature, if you use enough of it. For example: I know how to hyphenate adjectives. I do it regularly. I also use commas far more frequently than most feel comfortable with.
This person loves the term “servant’s heart”. Comparatively this is a rare enough term to be a signature of their writing.
Looking for it using the signs is fairly useless. It’s on 122; but without a cross-street, that could be endless miles.
The answer is Varky’s Cleaners.
And there it is.
Let’s have ourselves a look.
And, from October of 2019:
So that is probably why the sign changed. It went from 3 lines, to 4. The light poles do not match exactly; but, the traffic signal matches at least one of the pictures.
I won’t give you the address, since I feel this is going to creep people out enough as it is. But, I’m heartened to know that this isn’t just some nightmare object SCP thingy. It is in Massachusetts, however.
It’s a fun place, though. If the sign stays up with that bizarre request, and I get a little money, I think I will want to take a road trip, and take a picture, underneath the sign.
It’s just such a weird fucking thing to put on a sign.
It feels like you’re being asked to a Crusade.
