This’ll be part of a longer thing. I just want to get it out of the my brain— now.
It’s been fun.
Over the past few years, I’ve noticed how little I really care about things on here.
With Twitter bent over Elon’s knee and essentially broken, the game is over. My game is over.
Over the years, I’ve tried to get as much as I could, while doing the least amount of work possible. This isn’t out of any sort of belief that I ‘deserve’ it; it’s because I know that things aren’t being meted out fairly. So I reach the bare minimum qualifications, and I reach out and apply for any given ‘honor’. Because I know that these honors, they’re not really honors: anything that a human being with any sort of authority is willing to give you, freely, there’s a catch.
Let me put it this way: there’s a reason why, when you feed a wild animal by hand, that it snatches the food and then runs away. It knows what human beings might do. And so do I. So I’ve always kept my distance when it came to entities larger and ‘more powerful’ than me, but especially when it comes to handing out ‘honors’.
I have attained several ‘honors’ that I’ve wanted for a long time now. They’re listed below:
- I got Verified on YouTube.
- I got Verified on Spotify.
- I managed to get a Google Knowledge Panel.
As for everything else? I never managed to land a Soundcloud Verification; Facebook; Instagram; or, my pride and joy, Twitter. And since that’s gone, there hasn’t really been any real reason to keep on trying. (Plus, as of this writing, I’m throttled on Twitter to the point where some things I post are getting a maximum of 4 views. I’m done.)
I just want to say that I’m really disheartened to know that there are literal neo-nazis who are getting welcomed back to this platform, while I’ve never really been welcomed anywhere. I genuinely don’t know what it is. I can guess why it happened; but it doesn’t make it feel any better.
I’ve had a GooGoo NuNu PooPoo for about a year and a half right now, and, on its face, I’m beginning to hate this thing.
It’s never enough.
I originally wanted it because it felt like it was going to be a new version of an Arcadium profile. You search my name: bam! There I am!
Here comes the me!
Hello, I!
Welcome!
There I am!
I am heeeeeeeere!
And that’s how I thought it would feel. But the end result is, I look at it every day, and I just realize that I’ve been played. Nobody famous even cares about this thing. It’s helping Google— not really me. And because of that, it disgusts me.
The thing you gotta understand about humanity, is, it’s not really about what helps you. Humanity might, at one point or another, claim that it supports and even values freedom, and individuality. But, at its heart, the only thing that the people in charge really value is how much they can use you. And me having this thing, it doesn’t benefit me. It benefits people who make money off of me being part of their system.
At this point, I wouldn’t remove myself from their listings if I had that ability. But I’m not necessarily going to feel that bad if it one-day disappears.
It’s been like a solid 3 months of it being there without disappearing.
I think that’s enough.
In closing.
This all started when Vid.me was like, ‘yeah, you can get Verified’. It was the start of a self-inflicted journey of discovery, where I found out that I’m actually intrinsically worth something and that I deserve nice things. So I went after Verification, because I spent my life being scapegoated, and I wanted to be honored in some sort of official, very public, very visible way. I especially went after the Twitter checkmark for that very reason. Because it would’ve pissed off everybody who gave me trouble on Twitter.
All that’s really left is the Gold checkmark on Twitter, and there’s no way in Hades I’m getting that.
But, yeah.
The game is over.
I’m sad.