This will be in stanzas.
I don’t know if this is appropriate. But my heart hurts, and I’d like to write something down.
Do I even want to post these things? I feel like I’m opening myself up, far too wide.
I can’t forget too much. It’ll hurt.
Let me just put this in here: this is a really weird page, so let me explain.
I had friends on a website called Arcadium like 23 years ago. That website went down; and, over time, I lost touch with them. And I miss them. And I just want to write this letter— to give myself some sort of inner peace.
This is not posted as a threat or anything; I know some of it sounds really weird.
It’s posted as a way to help me get over how much I miss them.
I never forgot you. This is, of course, not a threatening letter. It is me reminiscing for a time that I think I will soon put behind me, and try to forget. It hurts too much to think of, on the daily.
Remember when we said we were brothers? That was fun; though kind of odd.
Remember when we’d mail the Final Fantasy 6 cartridge back and forth? So we could both pway?
I’m sorry about that thing I said about how you couldn’t understand what I was going through, racially. I had forgotten— we were both mixed. ‘Biracial’. It’s something I can never take back.
I still have your Dragon Force game. You told me to keep it. I never felt good about it; but I couldn’t return it. And, it’s been… …
… I think it’s been 23 years since I spoke to you.
Arcadium was a lifetime ago. A quarter of a century.
I wonder if you still remember. Well, of course you remember— but I wonder if you think about it.
Sometimes I look up your username, and I think about reconnecting. But— at the end, especially, I don’t think you liked me very much.
We were friends.
I never will forget about you.
I miss you.
But I think I have to give up these memories. Because they hurt too much to keep.
So I’m writing this down, here.
Your preferred username no longer brings up Google search results.
I suppose you’re gone.
I think you’d find it funny to know that I kept in touch with Vince, for a while. Then— phhht!— just like that, he was gone.
He found me again when I started my pursuit of the space aliens again.
He was always so damn funny.
I miss him.
HeLLo, Vincenzo. =P
Your username of choice is now too prolific for me to search for it. I have also, sadly, lost your last e-mail address. (I wasn’t supposed to have it; the forums software said it encrypted e-mail addresses. Well, it didn’t encrypt them well enough, so…)
So I guess that’s it, then.
Thank you for entertaining me for so long. I know that I was depressed. I’m sorry for that.
There’s not much more to say. You’re probably still here, occasionally checking up on me.
I hope you’ve had a nice life.
Along with you and Junon, I suppose you might find it funny to know that I’m currently Facebook friends with Cyrus. Yes!
I’m not sure he knows who I am, though. I think I told him, once. I think we spoke, once or twice!
Well, we’re Facebook friends.
But it’s really fucking weird for me to… like… talk to you.
I don’t know.
I’m sorry for that time when we were kids and you came out to us, and I said dreadful homophobic things to you. I don’t know why I said that. I won’t blame my upbringing. That was wrong.
I hope you’re doing well. I saw you got in a movie, or something! I thought that was very nice.
This is weird, heh…
To anyone else who reads this: Magus was the person in our friend group who always played the villain in our RP sessions. He wanted to be– at first. But, as time went on, I think… I think he felt bullied.
I never meant for that to happen.
Magus is also the only person whose real name I never got.
When it all went to shit, my biggest regret is that I never made it up to you.
I’m so sorry, Magus.
I don’t think you’ll ever read this.
You know, I used to be afraid of you. I guess it was just the name— paired with your devil-may-care demeanor.
I don’t know what to think. I haven’t heard from you in quite a while.
I don’t remember what the last thing you said was. Were you heading back to Japan? Or— hm.
I still have the postcard you sent me.
Even though it had nothing bad written on it, I still blushed when I received it. I don’t think I’ve properly read it, as short as it is, more than twice. I still don’t quite remember what you said.
I miss those days of yore.
Note: if you read this, and you want to send me a postcard? Please, send me an e-mail first, at least.
I’ve gotten a lot of stalkers since last we met. I get threats quite often, and if you sent me something and I didn’t recognize it, it will scare the shit out of me, lol
Where I’m going, I can’t hold on to this anymore. I’ve held these feelings in my heart, this entire time.
But now, this portion of my life is over.
There was something I wanted to say.
If you ever read this… do you remember nee1?
And do you remember what that vampire lady’s (poison832) boyfriend’s username was?
I said I would never forget it.
But I did.
It was DR something, wasn’t it?
I’m getting old.