Russia sucks!

Boo, motherfucker! Boooooooo!

So, around the start of the thing that Russia is doing to Ukraine, I decided to purposefully provoke Russian Intelligence. The idea was, I wanted them to attack me. It was fun for me.

The end result? Something like ten days later, these dumb dipshits come through, and you know what they do? They get caught sending whatever ‘data’ they gathered on me. And you know what happened?

My fucking AntiVirus picked it up, of all things.

I took a look at it. It was something that tried to take advantage of a known backdoor in some goofy-ass program the motherboard company made, to give the motherboard… hell, I don’t know? Special features, without rebooting the computer and fucking around in the BIOs? In any case, this fucking thing got stuck inside my computer. It masqueraded as a system driver. Then, when it tried to send data in the weirdest way possible, bam— you got CAUGHT, son!

It’s fairly lame, actually.

Ever since I’ve been provoking Russia, I’ve noticed that my computer’s started to run like shit. The last time I got Russian malware on my computer, a long, long time ago, it was so ineffectual that it couldn’t even phone home. I took that thing to pieces, fairly easily.


Hey, at least it knows how to attempt to phone home.

World superpower.


Thanks for the ransomware, you fucking idiots. It didn’t even trigger.

I’m fine, tipped hat at askance.

You know what kind of hat I’m wearing?

A party hat.

And you don’t get one.

This shit isn’t even useful.

EDIT: This is the stupid piece of shit they tried on me.