I’ve always felt like I was bad. I would go to a place; someone in power would do something wrong; I would tell on them, or tell them to stop; and I would get banned. I thought it was me.
The admin of one of the first American Sailor Moon communities was grooming 3-4 underage girls, and claimed one was his ‘girlfriend’. He was in his 30s. He banned me when I yelled at him for it.
That’s the crux of the story.
You don’t have to read anymore.
In part, even though I claim to have a photographic memory, I don’t want to fucking claim something emphatically and then learn, some time later, that I mixed something up. Years and years after the events, even though my memories only seem to get clearer, I think there must be a chance for me to get something wrong. Y’know? This is part of the reason why I never really name names. Because, unless I am 100% certain, I am not taking the risk of libel. Okay?
That being said, here are the details, no names involved:
- The admin was in his 30s. Certainly, he was older than the girls, who were below the age of 15.
- 3-4 girls, whose names I recognize as being fairly-prominent now, in the Twittersphere, were amongst his victims.
- Nobody but me did shit about this.
In the end, the admin was reviled; and, people slowly got away from him. But, it still bothers me that nobody stuck up for me. Except for one person. Who now has me blocked on Twitter. Whether or not they recognize me now, who knows!
But that’s all.
And so, my pain is over.
These ‘confessions’ are all that I have left to give, as to what my origins, my ‘ancient history’, actually is. Certainly there are stories that I have left to tell; and I will tell them.
But these are the things that have haunted me, for over 20 years, now.
I always felt that I was the one at fault.
It turns out, that, in these times, I was the only person willing to stand up for what was actually right.
Addendum: I do kind of want to cover the time I got banned from another community, for telling someone that— you know what? Actually, we’ll cover it, right here.
Years later when I tried to ‘rejoin’ the Sailor Moon community, there was a person who was quite famous, who was gay. They had a husband. And, in order to maintain their ‘status’ in the Sailor Moon community, they never fought back, nor defended their husband, from the (especially homophobic) abuse that they were receiving from that particular community. Why?
Because they were afraid to lose the power they had.
In a fucking Sailor moon community.
I called them a coward. They tried to turn it around on me; and, in fact, they kind of did. They made everybody think I was a homophobe. That’s about the time I gave up ever trying to join any sort of community. I defend your husband from homophobia, and you try to frame me as a homophobe? So you can maintain shitty power in a fucking FAN COMMUNITY???
The funny part was he got kicked out like a year and a half later.
Oh, the tangled webs we weave.
This entire experience has been premium dumb.
HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU ANTI-GAY AND LIKE SAILOR MOON?