I have several places I could post this, and though I don’t really know what to put on this website (this place is currently housing a few stories, before I permanently archive them on icze4r dot org— it’s just a pain in the ass to do that, and this is faster and easier), I want to put this here.
Looking at the opposition, and how hard it has been to be respected, or even treated like a human being, I’m really just done going through the Human system. I’ve tried to work with a bunch of Human authorities and I have just found them all lacking. I’m just going to give up on making the place better, and go live my own life. I will also be taking my resources with me. Go fuck yourselves.
You report death threats on Twitter, and nothing gets done. Like, at all. They even come back and say that no violations occurred. I’m pretty sure that either it’s a transphobic person in charge, or somebody just hates me, or a lot of trans people. I’m not sure I care to find out which it is, as I do not really care.
I’ve been on Twitter for like 12 years now and, quite honestly: earlier today, I regained a part of me that I haven’t had since I was about 14. I can think clearly now, and lucidly; and, for the first time in my life in a long time, I can feel things once more. And, the end result is, this place fucking blows. And it isn’t worth my lifeforce.
That being said, I wanted to say the following:
Something’s going on.
Between Cloudflare not giving a shit about actual Nazis hunting trans people, and my site mysteriously becoming 85.9% slower after the head of Cloudflare’s Trust & Safety blocked me on Twitter— and I should note, I said nothing to them— and, after I complained, now my sites are faster than ever? It’s not that I’m giving up. It’s that I think I know what the fuck is going on, now.
I think, in general, there are some people who really hate me. Or, at the very fucking least, they hate people like me. Or, they just don’t care. And, if they don’t care, I have absolutely no desire to continue sharing my lifeforce with the things that they’re involved with.
Perhaps you’ll understand better with a video:
For a very long time, I’ve actually been afraid to share the things I loved, because I didn’t want to get made fun of. And then, about three or so days ago, I just stopped. I stopped, and I made fun of Kiwi Farms to their faces; and nothing happened.
I’ve gotten SWATted before. Nothing.
You’ve heard, ‘this guy ain’t playin’ with a full deck?’ These motherfuckers ain’t even got cards. it was that bad. Instantly, talking to these people, my fear of them went away completely. How these motherfuckers feed themselves, I have no idea. It’s that bad.
When it comes to the whole Keffals situation, she’s got a lot of money: I’m glad for that fact. She’s the winner, here. And me, I’m not a part of it. I had a lot of fun in the past 3 days and nothing came of it. Personally, I wanted to see if Kiwi Farms could kill me. Nope.
There’s a lot of shit going on that I don’t understand. And I don’t care to find out, quite frankly. I think that, I’ve seen all that I need to see, and that’s that. I will confess that meeting all of the people I knew in my childhood, and seeing how fucked up they are now, has been a real treat. I have nothing really left to imagine, because I’ve already seen everything. There are no questions left in my mind, of, ‘what happened to that guy?’. I’ve already seen all of the guys. And it’s over.
My past is over. There are no questions left.
I’m finally living in the now, and . . . I don’t think I need to be online anymore.
I’ll be seeing you. Don’t be sad; I’ll check in on my friends. I love you guys.
The thing is, though, I tried to find happiness online. And, there just isn’t any, anymore.
It’s all a game that I no longer want to play.