Hoo boy, here we go.
It is no small secret that Twitter is a shitshow. I recently became aware of the fact that Twitter botched 27 days’ worth of Verification Requests.
Some people have been waiting 12 weeks to have their request reviewed.
Now, obviously, this ain’t life-or-death. It must be noted that Twitter is also running by the seat of its ass, in that it’s now trying to dodge COVID left-and-right: they’ve just shuttered two of their major headquarters because of the virus. So, obviously, you’d expect Verification numbers to go down. And you’d be right: you can just check Verified’s ‘Following’ count on Socialblade, to see how many people got Verified that day. And the numbers are looking bleak.
Keep in mind that the monthly averages for the past two months are comparatively high: ~8,128 people Verified in June; ~9,601 Verified in July. Twitter also seems to unfollow de-verified individuals, so this is obviously going to affect numbers. Though, probably not to a statistically-significant extent.
Before this, throughout June and July, Twitter was sitting on an average Verification rate of about ~271 individuals, per day, in June, and ~310(!) in July. Before this, they Verified roughly 66 people per day. Right now, they’re sitting just a hair above that: ~67 people Verified, per day. This almost perfectly matches the previous Verification rate, when you couldn’t ask for it. So, obviously, something fucky is going on, inside.
There are also days where Verification either just doesn’t happen, or it happens to such a limited extent that you can monitor people getting deVerified. I take this as being a sign that Twitter’s management is currently under duress.
Twitter, in general, doesn’t give a shit. It verifies false accounts, all the time. Sometimes it even verifies the wrong person, because their name is so similar to the person earmarked for Verification. It doesn’t matter to these people.
The above image is a sample of a bunch of ‘bot’ accounts that got Verified, apparently, through some sort of non-American division of Twitter. Do any of those even exist? I’m well-aware that Twitter has some sort of Japanese-speaking ‘division’, to it. These accounts apparently spammed things in Korean, and the names are apparently all Turkish— so who the fuck knows.
Now, obviously, I’m not here to shame Twitter. I really don’t give a shit. It’s just, this is a puzzle, and I have to solve it.
So here’s what I think is the solution:
I think Twitter’s fucked up.
Part of the reason I, and others, can never really ‘grok’ what’s going on, behind the scenes, somewhere, high-up in ‘authority’, is that we assume perfect knowledge; perfect competence; and a work environment that is conducive to effecting ones stated goals. Twitter’s probably omega-fucked-up right now.
Verification has long been this thing where nobody in the Bay Area even gives a single fuck about making it ‘good’. It’s something that they put out there as a ‘lure’ for stupider people to pursue; but, that’s all it is. It is a ‘lure’. And just like wif a fish, just because it looks shiny and delectable, doesn’t mean that, when you bite into it, you’re going to get what was promised. You’re just gonna get a fucking hook in your mouf.
There’s no telling what this is, or how this happened. My best guess is that they successfully ‘gamed’ the Verification system, by presenting as a promotional account for the new Harley Quinn movie.
This presents us with several ‘uncomfortable’ questions:
- Do movie studios get Verified this way? I heard they had connections. I don’t think they’d get Verified this way; so, the only thing that could possibly be happening here, is, the people verifying people on Twitter are not well-trained. And this is through no fault of their own. I’m just saying: this is probably how dis-organized it is, in Twitter HQ.
- How many people got Verified by gaming the system?
- How the hell is this even possible?
There are also several other accounts that Cher Scarlett found, such as…
… an Indian ‘test’ account?
A couple of things. Is this really a test account? It allows followers, so I’ve just sent a Following request. We shall see.
Second: remember when a checkmark lost their checkmark, when they protected their account?
We should really go back to that.
Dhiribarne is also an oddity, for an account. It does seem to be a testing account— but. For what, is uncertain.
Perhaps the strangest, though, is how gaming accounts seem to be verified the most, and without any sort of actual qualifications. Collected evidence here: https://archive.is/QgqLw
I first noticed this, early on, when the Verification Request system first came online, again. Kids on YouTube with about ~301 subs, and ~151 followers, on Twitter, were getting Verified. And, I mention this, because…
… I saw a kid get deverified. For nothing.
Something is going on, wif Twitter. I’m not sure what, but… something is definitely going on.
One thing that I want to point out, is this: I’ve seen a lot of Verified accounts get hijacked. And I’ve seen even more Verified accounts, where, if you Googled them, nothing came up. I had absolutely no idea what the fuck this account was supposed to be, or if they had ever been famous. There are also still accounts, like the Verified Coffee Cup, where they actively don’t explain why they’re verified. They don’t really have a reason; just like how multiple accounts for fictional characters, esp. dogs, are Verified.
But the one account that fucking baffles me, to this day, is CNR.
I’m not sure what the fuck went on, here. But I am still curious.
En generale, while I’m not giving up on this, I do now know enough to tell you—
Verification is a coin toss. Sometimes you win; sometimes, you don’t.
Next time I get a chance to do it— if this time doesn’t take— I’m going to try to get Verified through the eSports route.
Not sure how that’s going to go; but that seems to be the route to take.
UPDATE: September 18th, 2021
Now Twitter is just de-verifying people left and right, thanks to some person who hates being called “Checkmark Cop”, acting as Checkmark Cop. They went through 100,000 Verified accounts and reported the ones to Twitter that did not fit their standards. Interesting that they’re being listened to!
Anyways, Instagram listens like that, too, and YouTube is de-verifying people.
Bizarre. Chilling? No. Don’t care