First Contact FAQ

As our two Worlds rapidly accelerate towards one another, my hope is that the two will be able to join with the least amount of friction possible. However, the main problem with such a joining is that humanity, at least some elements of it, are going to react violently to the introduction of another sentient species into their environment. Many people have told me that, if and when First Contact happens, their first inclination would be to kill themselves— because they would be so afraid.

I don’t know what to do about that. I can tell you, honestly, that if the Anunnaki had not saved me as a child— something they did frequently, considering that they saved me from bleeding out; after I was shot in the chest with a shotgun by a human being; and many other instances— I would not be here writing this. In fact, the entire reason that I am writing this is on their behalf. I want to make them happy.

And what’s going to make them happy, is having an open sort of— I don’t know what I could even call it. They want you to know that they exist; they no longer want to hide. They enjoy interacting with other species, and this group of them, especially, has taken a special interest in the human race.

I intend on somehow initiating First Contact, because being able to open the door between the two races would increase the Anunnaki on Earth’s happiness. That is the reason that I am doing all of this.

But I know that there will be problems. For 100-150 years, human beings are going to fight this. They are going to fight them. There will be a new sort of bigotry: human supremacy. There will be arguments that the space aliens have no place on Earth.

I don’t know what to do about that.

But I can try something.

What will happen to the human race?

Probably what’s already been happening to you for the past 50,000 years.

About 50,000 years ago, correlating with the event detailed in your myth of the Great Flood, the Anunnaki crashlanded on Earth. The specifics of why are not exactly important; at the time, the aristocracy of their species were largely interested in controlling other species, in a manner similar to slavery, but not quite the same thing. (Think: the British Empire.) The group on Earth commandeered ships, supplies, and left their home world vulnerable, as a tactic to stop the colonialism of their race. It worked. Today, the group on Earth, and the ruling class on their home world are in agreement that enslavement is morally wrong.

So, not to put too fine a point on it, but the group on Earth were anti-slavery, anti-colonial hippies. They still are.

Given that they’ve been here for the past 50,000 years, give or take a few thousand or so, and they have the ‘technology’ to interbreed with human beings, whatever will happen to the human race has already occurred. Given that they landed in the cradle of the human race, there is a good chance that some large percentage of human beings have distant, if not still-living Anun ancestors.

“First Contact” is a misnomer: First Contact happened at the moment that the Anun crashlanded on Earth. How exactly human beings forgot that they met with space aliens, I don’t know. That’s a mystery to me.

Then again, people are kind of forgetting already that human beings once landed on the Moon.

You seem very forgetful.

What do the aliens want?

A friend.

I’m not sure if this is something you can understand. A lot of them seem particularly enamored with human beings. They think that you’re fun. They find how chaotic you are to be, I don’t want to say ‘amusing’, or ‘entertaining’, but rather, stimulating. And not in a demeaning way. I guess they just find your rambunctiousness appealing.

In general they also seem to have at least a little bit of a dislike of breeding with one another. Their species is such that they seem to seek out other species, to create further species with. This is a consensual endeavor: they’re not, like, xenomorphs.

There’s also a certain element of boredom. They’ve been on this planet, hiding, for nearly the entire duration of their stay. They want to get out and mingle. Honestly, I can’t blame them: you’re one of the few species that they’ve gotten to witness from their birth, to the current technological revolution. You are, at your heart, a fascination of theirs.

What will the aliens provide to us?

Probably nothing. You already had nukes— which they disabled, in part in preparation for First Contact, but mostly so that you wouldn’t kill each other.

Expect no technological ‘exchanges’. You have nothing we really want that we’re willing to give you something of ours in return for. Simply because you would kill a whole shitload of people with it.

Other than that, there’s a level of excitement about human beings willfully moving into the ships and living with the Anunnaki. If you choose to do so, then you will be provided with free room and board. You won’t have to work, though you are free to apprentice with anyone who wants to teach you. You will get free medical care. If so selected, you may choose to receive life-extending implanted technology that will bring your lifespan a bit closer to theirs. 100% function-returning protheses and organ replacements are available for most human organs (eyes and other organs of the skull; most internal organs in the torso; limbs).

What’s the catch?

There’s not really one. Aggression is not something that is allowed on the ship. Any human being getting caught trying to sexually assault someone is getting evicted, which means you’ll get thrust back into the human world. (There are no prisons, and no police on the ship, in general. Trying to hurt someone on the ship will usually result in the offender being ‘exiled’— meaning they will not be welcome to live on the ship any longer.)

To be fair, you have to really fuck up for this to happen. There are people who have committed murder who have been exiled to live somewhere else (with the same amenities; and no restriction on their movements). And they have eventually been accepted back into society.

Generally, just be normal. Nobody’s looking to evict you; and if somebody there loves you, you’re not getting evicted in the first place.

What’s with the UFOs being seen?

So I had this idea. I wanted to get the Human World interested in space aliens, and move the Overton Window to a point where I could safely introduce them.

So I told my friend to park a research vessel over a U.S. state, and jsut see what happened.

… whatever the fuck happened after that, I cannot say. There were no balloons. I don’t know what the fuck the U.S. is talking about.

That was it. We just wanted to see what you would do.

Also, I forgot that First Contact couldn’t happen in America, because fuck, you love to shoot us.

Why did aliens abduct human beings?

The Anunnaki, sadly, are not perfect. The vast majority of alien abductions were either rogue medical experiments, or outright sexual assault. Some of the aliens (something like 3 out of every million) feel great anger towards human beings, and, the whole ‘anal probe’ thing? Yeah, that was an alien raping a human, to hurt them.

Abduction is not something that’s accepted in their society. Still, it happens.

At this point in time, it’s something that can get an alien killed if someone else finds out.

How many of them are on Earth?

Millions, but not one billion. For security reasons, I am choosing not to give the exact number.

How many of them exist?

That depends on whether or not you count different species within their species group. Their very nature lends towards them creating new species with species that they’ve met, through reproduction.

There are, to the best of my knowledge, at least 16 septillion of them. There is an adjacent, ‘sister’ species that has more members.

The majority of the first group of individuals are not located in this galaxy.

What are the ships I’m seeing?

The vast majority of the ships you’re seeing are of Anun origin. Rounded ships are not of the same species. There are currently, at minimum, 3-5 species of aliens, flying around on Earth.

Why are they here?

Why are you here?

No, seriously. Think about it.

If you could fly anywhere you wanted to, for free… wouldn’t you?

When’s First Contact?

God, I’ll tell you when I know.

Hopefully it happens because this place SUUUUUUUCKS