‘Chinese Spy Balloon’

And in other news, nothing apparently can be done to show human beings that UFOs are real.

So the idea was this: if a UFO just existed right outside of your flight envelope, about 10,000 feet above your flight ceiling, and it just hung around for days, we (I) thought that that would be enough to provoke public consciousness into realizing, oh— space aliens are real. But apparently, it was not.

Not even after the operator of the first sphere (which is bright fucking white, and producing its own light, I might note), ran into a satellite. You can clearly see it hanging off. And still, nobody seems to recognize it.

The U.S. Military, but of course, shot at it. But you shoot at all our UFOs. This, of course, had no effect; simply because, hey. I know you. I knew you were going to shoot at it. You even launched a missile at it.

Are you really this fucking stupid?

The end result is that there were 3 of these things just floating around. One went home, because you shot at it, and I can’t in all good conscience just tell them to stay out. So there are two of them, now, just dawdling across your air space.

And I can tell you all this. And, of course, you won’t fucking believe me.

But I find it funny that this entire plan has gone to such shit. It’s just proof positive that we can’t land here, in America. Because you’ll shoot us. (10 civilians have already admitted to going out with their hunting rifles and shooting at our UFOs. Your guns have a range of like 600 meters. This thing is 19,000 meters up. Are you dumb?)

In any case, there’s a giant black triangle ship just fucking around somewhere. It’s not going to do anything, but it’s in your air space. Hopefully somebody gets a picture of it.

nothing’s going to happen. I mean, we already can’t land, and you’re so fucking stupid, holy hsit.

Good job screwing yourself out of First Contact, America.