So! Today is the one-year anniversary of me learning how to make A.I. art, and I’m over it.
It’s not because I agree with anyone about it. Westerners are pretty much just gigantic spoiled children. More-civilized countries have people who can look at it objectively, and go, yeah, this is neat but it’s not useful yet. One of the greatest artists I’ve ever admired played with it, and said, yeah, this can’t replace me.
And that’s the thing.
People with actual skill don’t give a shit about this. Granted, Americans are fucking insane and Capitalism is eating them alive, so they will look at something like this and go, oh no; this is a threat to me.
Yeah, I don’t give a fuck about you.
This took so long that I forgot the witty title I planned for this.
It was something like— the art of the draw. The luck of the draw? No. It had ‘art’ at the end of it, and it was mighty clever. Sounded good, toot.
And then I got locked out of my own goddamned website, and that, my friends, is when i realized that I really do not want to do this any longer.
Having a WordPress website is useful for my ego. It costs $6 a month and I daresay that I will soon rather just save that. There seems to be a new dawn coming, and I feel much like everything I have ever done has been for naught. But, worst case scenario? At least I won’t have to suffer long, either way.
Still: recovering my website made me realize that I don’t really wanna do this anymore. It was a fun idea; but, in practice, I’m shelling out $6 for this, and more money for other shit. And it simply is not worth it.
I do not want to pay $6 a month to entertain you.
No, I won’t be taking ‘donations’. ‘Donations’ like this always come with a string attached: the people who give will want to pull said string, whenever they wish to torment me.
No. I’d rather just fuck off and die.
Thanks.
Why I’m not paying much attention to A.I. Art anymore
There’s nothing left to do. In the first three months I covered nearly entirely all the ground that I wanted to, in this arena. And it made me realize sometihng.
I don’t want to be an artist. Because, I have no real desire to entertain humans. And if I were to entertain space aliens, I would feel that my talents were not good enough for them. But for humans?
Shit, dude. I’m giving away my life’s work for free.
This is definitely pearls before swine.
As it stands, however, I’m glad that I could finally put this quandary to rest: No, I did not want to study art instead of writing, for the past 25 years. If I had done that, I might be able to draw some amazing things (my environment, and the resultant anxiety would probably have prevented me from doing so); but, I wouldn’t be able to write a story worth shit. And that would torment my heart FAR MORE than not being able to ‘draw’.
And who am I ‘drawing’ for, praytell?
These pricks?
Yeah.
No.
I met my all-time favorite fanartist and she turned out to be a jerk. Never meet your heroes, kids. Hell, I’m looking at one of her pictures on my wall, right now. I once had a great desire to be like her: to draw how she drew.
And guess what?
One day, I will.
And I’ll draw better.
But as it stands, this avenue has been fully fleshed out. I don’t have anything left to do. What am I gonna do/ draw porn, maybe make $5,000 a month? Seems kinda funny but I fucking hate human beings. You’ve used up enough of my goddamned lifeforce.
I’m gonna do somethin’ else now.
It feels kinda weird, giving it all up.
But, Hell; I’ve done everything.
There’s nothing left to do here.
Kinda like how the Internet just plain sucks now.
Oh well.
Farewell forever, if it comes to it.
Or maybe I’ll just fade into the real world.
Thing is, I only really wanted to do all of this so that, if the worst came to worst, I could tell myself that I tried hard enough, and that I shouldn’t have any regrets.
No, this isn’t a suicide note. I’m saying— I think I’m going to stop thinking about the Internet, pretty soon. One way or another, my web presence is probably going to be lessened; and then, phhht!— just like that, I’ll be gone.
Oh well.
I was a good boy, wasn’t I?
I hope I’m not bugfuck insane.
I’d like my story to have a happy ending.